Right now, I’m sure you’re as excited about the new Batman film as the rest of the world. Even the people who normally exist under large and tough to excavate rocks are pretty jazzed. Unlike many others, though, I am not most excited for the supposedly “final, epic conclusion to the Dark Knight trilogy!!11!” No, my friend. I am excited for Catwoman.
Since her first appearance in 1940, Catwoman has been kicking ass, taking names, and looking undoubtedly fine while doing it (even in spite of some questionable costumes throughout the years). Now that we have Anne Hathaway to help put that whole Halle Berry disaster behind us, let’s Catwoman-ify your life.
1.) A Killer Manicure – Remember Michelle Pfeiffer’s fierce Catwoman claws? Now you do! There’s something about having a great manicure that acts as a mini confidence booster. I don’t care if that sounds like shallow nonsense, because it’s true.
2.) A Pair of Faux-Leather Leggings — If you’re rolling your eyes, let’s make a pact. You put on a pair of these bad boys, do your thing for a day, and if you don’t feel the need to spontaneously buy a motorcycle and run away to fulfill your dream as a member of Cirque du Soleil, I’ll give you five bucks.
3.) Stilettos at Inappropriate Times — Going to the dentist? Stilettos. Jury duty? Stilettos. Volunteering at a soup kitchen? Stilettos. If Catwoman could sprint, jump, and then land a triple backflip in them, you know they’re a necessary tool for badass-ery.
4.) Eartha Kitt Records – Eartha Kitt is often credited with “inventing” the Catwoman persona, and with good reason. After you’ve wriggled out of your leather pants and have kicked off your stilettos, relax with your knitting and Kitt’s “I Want to be Evil.“
5.) Costume Jewelry – After all, Catwoman in her purest form was a jewel thief. Flaunt ridiculous rings that look like Ring Pops and earrings that touch your shoulders.
6.) A Self-Defense Class — In the end, behind the leather and the diamonds, Catwoman knew how to beat the crap out of someone in her own special way. Most gyms offer variations on self-defense, such as kickboxing or karate. Ch-check it out and you’ll feel like Catwoman on the inside, too (you know…besides all of the identity disorders and kleptomania).